Thursday, April 16, 2009

Rush Limbaugh, nice cuddly pirates, brutal Obama,

We don't ever much look at American loons, because they're way too loonish, but this outburst by Rush Limbaugh, radio commentator and apparently the current President of the Republican Party, is such a caring flourish of his drug-addled brain that it's well worth a read:

RUSH: You know what we have learned about the Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers that were wiped out at the order of Barack Obama, you know what we learned about them? They were teenagers. The Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers who took a US merchant captain hostage for five days were inexperienced youths, the defense secretary, Roberts Gates, said yesterday, adding that the hijackers were between 17 and 19 years old. Now, just imagine the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas. Greetings and welcome back, Rush Limbaugh, the Excellence in Broadcasting Network and the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies.

They were kids. The story is out, I don't know if it's true or not, but apparently the hijackers, these kids, the merchant marine organizers, Muslim kids, were upset, they wanted to just give the captain back and head home because they were running out of food, they were running out of fuel, they were surrounded by all these US Navy ships, big ships, and they just wanted out of there. That's the story, but then when one of them put a gun to the back of the captain, Mr. Phillips, then bam, bam, bam. There you have it, and three teenagers shot on the high seas at the order of President Obama ...

(You can read more here under the header President Obama Ordered the Killing of Three Black Muslim Kids, but only if you have a strong brain, don't have any fear of brain damage, and have absolutely no other way to waste your life).

Now if only our very own Piers Akerman had this information to hand a little earlier, so he could have written a sob story about cuddly Islamic youths being ordered to be shot by the Assassinator Obama. A killer of teenagers. You know, instead of writing guff like Let the cannonball fly and hang them high.

Warning us that the pirates weren't cuddly, they were dangerous, and carrying on about the good old days when British folk knew how to deal with piracy. Somehow Akerman lost the new song sheet.

Why it turns out they were just nice inexperienced Islamic kids running out of food and fuel and fun times, and just wanted out of there, and then they were ruthlessly terminated by a sociopathic killer president. Sure they were waving a gun about but where's the harm in that? Everyone waves a gun around in America.

Even Tim Blair doesn't seem to have caught up with this new angle, but give him and Andrew Bolt time. Will it stick in their collective craws, or will they somehow manage it? After all, Rush is the de facto president of all the tea baggers out there.

Who knows. Second thought, yes, you're right who cares. We're not up to American standards of loonacy, we're just rank amateurs in the art of saying white is black, and black is most certainly not right. 

But suddenly I understand that funny expression damned if you do, and damned if you don't and damned every which way you move ...

No comments: