Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hal G. P. Colebatch, Student Unionism, Commie Alert, and Young Google Brained C*ck ups

Devastated as I am by Miranda the Devine's devastating indictment of Google as an anti-creative, anti-thinking, anti-ideas armageddon, I immediately googled up an old favorite of mine to see if he had a stick figure analysis of the predicament we're in. Young folks especially. And yes, there's shocking evidence to hand that google is ruining young people's relationships (see above). 

You can catch a lot more of xkcd here but only if you're lazy, unoriginal, derivative, and in search of cheap ideas with which to fill your blog. (He even has a store for geeks and nerds  - god these robot loving physicists are clever dick slackers)

But what's this got to do with Hal G. P. Colebatch you ask? Another spurious red herring. Another false connection, another piece of shallow thinking typical of google-ites, unlike the Devine's deep meditations and cogitations on the thinking process. Well yes, sob, I don't have an original bone in my brain, and all I can do is reach out for Colebatch for genuine insight and information.

And what he tells me about young people in universities - in a column I almost missed in the always caring The Australian called Daylight Robbery, Compulsory student charges are a left-wing racket to create cadres - sent shivers to my bones. 

A whole new generation of young people - the intellectual cream of mushoom soup in our country - are being trained to be commies by the Rudd government reviving compulsory student unionism and charging 250 smackeroonies for the pleasure. 

Colebatch is full of compelling insights: Australian universities are no longer very much populated, if they ever were, by languid young aristrocrats supported by wealthy parents as in the Oxford of Brideshead Revisited.

No really? When I was young, Lord Haw Haw was sent out to the colonies for re-education but I guess those days are gone. We were quite chummy and languid at the time, and I always shared my cheese and cucumber sandwiches with him. Today, it seems, universities are full of hard working swots with no time for any of that community of scholars tripe, and no cash to spare.

Those who justify compelling university students to pay for sports clubs and so forth as the price of an education are, through either deliberate mendacity or enthralment to fantasy, harking back to a mythologised version of university life that has not existed for a long time.

Damn right, you tell 'em Colebatch. Blooody jocks, expecting to be subsidized so they can chase a pill around a field. Bugger off, you hopeless engineers and rural scientists. And as for the chess club, it was always full of geeks who admired pervert commie Russian chess players, and gasp, Bobby Fischer. But wait, Bobby called it right, and so does Hal. Yep, it's another conspiracy:

The ALP and the Left would not have fought so hard against voluntary student membership and pushed so hard for compulsory fees to be restored if they did not believe that their ideological allies on campus would benefit very substantially and student guilds would revert to their former roles as cadre-generating institutions for the Left.

Lick spittle lackeys of Chairman Ruddster.

We're ruined I tells ya. These young people have google spaghetti brains, and now they're going commie, waving their little red books, not understanding that Chairman Mao is nothing more than a brand name for a heckuva lot of restaurants in Beijing (which give you food poisoning, remind me to tell you about diarrhea in the middle kingdom some time).

Now I'll leave you with this other xkcd cartoon. This is what passes for nerdish humor on the intertubes. 

I shortly expect young people to ruin the real world in the same way they're ruining the intertubes. Clive Hamilton, where are you? You and Miranda and Hal must join forces to save us from these addle-brained, cack-brained young commie c*ck-ups (you know what I mean, but as a rooster is to a hen, so actually printing the word c*ck might result in a fornicating frenzy worthy of a Bosch painting).

Say no more. Global warming? Economic meltdown? Meh, filthy young people slacker pervert googling commie nerds are the alpha and omega of a hideous future. Soylent green is old people! We've gotta stop them somehow!

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