Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Jason Lewis, UK Loons, How to Build a H-bomb, and how to torture to save Christian America

Seeing as how this blog is dedicated to Australian loons writing for Australian newpapers it has a very limited orbit - let's face it, no one in their right minds would give a flying fuck what Janet Albrechtsen says about the world, and whenever I write about her circulation drops to the point of a pinhead. Come on Janet come on, say something interesting about something, not just a rant about how you just love little Johnny Howard, and his hard, man of steel, ways.

But to tackle the activities of all 6.8 billion (and climbing to 9 billion by 2040) loons in the world? Way too hard. However one item did come my way I couldn't resist. You'll find the full story at the UK paper The Daily Mail, written by Jason Lewis under the header Food writer's online guide to building an H-bomb ... the 'evidence' that put this man in Guantanamo. (Good story Jason).

Seems this poor bloody London janitor (Binyam Mohamed is his name, natch) admitted reading an article on the intertubes on how to build a H-bomb. Amongst the instructions in the 'recipe' - after you've filled a bucket with uranium hexafluoride, and attached a rope, and swung it around your head as fast as possible for 45 minutes, then lowered it to the floor:

The U-235 - a uranium isotope which can be used to cause an explosive chain reaction - will have risen to the top, where it can be skimmed off like cream. Repeat this step until you have the required 10lb of uranium.

You see, it's a joke, right. A satirical whimsy by some comedy writers. End result? Rendition and a free trip to Guantanamo. "It explains why they took a nobody and subjected him to the worst torture of any US prisoner in the past seven years", explained his lawyer.

Well maybe Binyam's so dumb he took it for a real guide, but that hardly makes him a major threat to American civilisation as we know it. If that's the case, he probably couldn't manage to produce a single petrol bomb. He's more bloody Irish than the Irish (it's okay, I have Irish genes, I've been back the homeland in Tipperary, no stereotypes here).

Or maybe he just told the truth to people in authority, and they decided, for no good reason, to fuck him over just to make sure there was nothing up his anus. No wonder the Americans threatened to sulk and not share anything with the British if the details came out. Naturally the Foreign Secretary and the High Court rolled down their collective trousers, and did it for Britain in the British way. The crucial 'evidence' will stay hidden from prying eyes.

It seems this 'evidence' is 'central' to the case. Well it's easy to chortle about the dumb fucks who did this to Binyam Mohamed - we have the same bunch of pinheads in the Federal Police here - but then I got to thinking of just what this recent surge in paranoia's done to human rights, and humanity at large. This poor bugger's spent eight years in prison, and tortured all over the planet in Pakistan, Morocco, Afghanisatan and then off to GB. And he didn't get any frequent flyer points I bet.

But the chortling about the dumb fuck loons got stuck in my throat. Eight years in GB! Holy cow. And a pinhead like Mick Keelty is stilling running the Australian Federal Police. Makes you think. Remind me never to look up online a recipe for an atomic bomb. Damn, why did I go look up that recipe for fireworks, just because the fascists banned them in Australia. Double damn, why did I write that thingy about how I like to shoot bunnies. Triple damn, why have I got some old ammonium nitrate fertilizer out the back, better get that into the pots quick stix.

Whatever happened to that notion of Christ's, as reported by Matthew: If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a man than a sheep!

The way the Americans are playing this case hardball, even a Jovian loving Roman would blush. Well okay, not Caligula, but Cicero mebbe?

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