Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Akerman, Black Bashing, Vegie Growing and Feral Pig Hunting

Piers Akerman is a fearsome contender for 'loon of the week', especially when he gets to do a bit of black bashing, as he does in Patronising pollies just don't quite get it.

Hard on the heels of Peter Garrett announcing a make-work scheme for remote indigenous communities involving environmental rangers, good ol' Piers has his own modest proposals.

Let them grow vegies - just the thing in a desert. You know, plant some fruit trees and watch them flourish in the barren land with the help of just a bit of water, shipped it at vast expense. Why not plant some asparagus? That'll give them the iron to handle their drinking. What about tomatoes? That tomato farm in Alice Springs did so well. Okay, so maybe grapes? You mean the winery at the Alice shut down?

Better still, why not get them to hunt down feral animals. Blacks are good at hunting and gathering, especially when it comes to welfare cheques, the lazy sods. Once they've caught a feral pig, they could pose against the vast outback with one leg resting on the other, just like they do in that News Ltd. classic Australia. (Remember that Piers is getting wound up about A$30 million on the scheme when taxpayers pissed A$40 million against the wall on Rupert and Baz's master stroke tarnishing of Australia as a brand name).

After all, a bit of hard work never hurt anyone. Piers is only too aware of the siren song of the welfare office for blacks (unlike all those decent hard working Australians like Joe the Plumber who've earned the right to go on the dole in hard times). Waft a welfare cheque in front of a black and then it's sit down time for the summer. Sure it's often a forty five degrees in the shade summer, but why don't they just air condition their vegetable patches? Instead of buying all those Toyota Landcruisers they get on welfare (gee, welfare pays heaps), let them act like the peasants they are.

As you know Piers himself, once he's finished his blog, never has sit down time. He's off to tend his vegie patch, even if he has to rely on the advice of that ex-ABC greenie Peter Cundell, and on weekends he always goes out on a feral hunt, for the good of the country. What a chappie.

And he has the cheek to call the politicians patronizing. You have to wonder if the Fat Owl of the Remove has ever ventured into the interior, as it would involve him leaving his leather-clad armchair and forsaking a cool glass or two of chardonnay (consumed of course only when certified left-leaning, chardonnay-sipping liberals are out of sight). 

Vegetable growing! Let them eat cake Piers, and plenty of fructose corn syrup in their soda pop and plenty of grog, and with interbreeding and a bit of people management George Augustus Robinson style, we can still sort out the problem in time. Sure there'll be less copy potential for you, but there'll always be a lot of bleeding heart do gooders left for you to send out to the vegetable patch.

No comments: