Friday, May 29, 2009

Prince Charles, banging away at climate change, and delicious ironies to be savored

(Above: Prince Charles, still banging away but now with climate change deniers in his sights).

People, nation, fellow Ozzies, this is just a short message to bring you a vital message from our future king, the bonnie Prince Charlie, aspirational tampon.

It concerns of course climate change, and his message is urgent:

There is now only a mercifully small (if vociferous) number of people who do not accept the science of climate change and who should know better, but there are still a great many who fail to recognise the urgency of the situation.

Can I just add my own sweet little message to all the monarchist, climate change sceptics out there, and their republican-denying commentariat columnist comrades.

Chew on it. Better still, suck on it.

And by the way Gerard Henderson, when you talk about the GG being above the common ruck of ordinary politics, what do you make of our future king taking the stand to berate climate change deniers? Is to preach against him treason? Come on down Ian Plimer and the gang, as jolly a bunch of Guy Fawkes as we've seen in awhile.

If you want to read the full load of solemn homily, enough to send a climate change denier into a frenzy, The Sydney Morning Herald, still with dim memories of its ancient monarchist past, when it devoted screeds to the doings of royals and their colonial representatives, has published an edited extract of a speech by the Prince of Wales to open the Nobel Laureates symposium on climate change, under the header Value of natural capital: priceless.

And what's even cheekier? The Herald was running an ad for Greenpeace about our dependence on coal and the terrifying impact of climate change right next to Charlie's text. It's a conspiracy I tells ya.

I fear our grandchildren will not care very much about whether in the early 21st century we sustained 20th century-style economic growth. They will be far more concerned, I suspect, about climate; about whether there is sufficient food and water; about the security measures and economic resources needed to cope with millions of environmental refugees.

That will require the emergence of an economy that not only takes care of both people and planet but also breaks the mould in terms of how we look at the world. We need a form of globalisation that empowers local communities and local cultures, with all their accumulated wisdom, to maintain their own environments. Enabling these things is not only our most urgent priority but it is also our greatest opportunity.

Right on princely dude, but I'm sure Australians won't want to be so locally empowered that they no longer swear fealty to such a wise and lovable monarch, and one who hates modern architecture as well. Smote those naysayers mightily, and if anyone tells you that perhaps the monarchy is a conspicuous, even unseemly devourer of the planet's resources - in much the same way as they rebuke Al Gore for catching jets - ignore them.

And when Gerard Henderson tells you that you should be above the fray, ignore him too. Never listen to a prattling Polonius when someday Denmark will be yours.

Now the big question is, will The Australian spend the next week trashing the Prince and monarchists, and urge a vote for a climate change denying republic within the year? Surely this is a chance to revive their "Ian Plimer for president" campaign, so that we can have our very own Vaclav Klaus.

Or how about Paul Sheehan? Time for a big reveal on the Prince and his mad greenie credentials? Or what about Tim Blair and Andrew Bolt denouncing the monarchists, and our right royal Charlie, and campaigning vigorously for a republic, since they seem obsessed with environmentalists on a daily basis? What do they make of a very large one coming to reign over us?

Will Janet Albrechtsen wander around the pubs of north western New South Wales, urging the good folk that it's time to get rid of this monarchist wastrel, with his unseemly hatred of Ian Plimer's message? She might have a hard time in the clubs of Tamworth, where you can still see pictures of Her Majesty hanging on the walls.

Some ironies are so delicious, like three pieces of Turkish delight, irresistible and yet to be savored slowly. I like to think of them as a triangle of delights: monarchist, republican and climate change deniers. Ah, which one to eat first ...

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