Piers Akerman, Reds under the bed, reds in Geraldton and reds in the CSIRO

Staggering news today. The reds are back under our beds, and ready to jump out in the middle of the night and say 'boo' very loudly, meaning that from this day forth no Australian will be able to sleep soundly at night.

The reds are of course the Chinese reds, who spent decades under my bed, until they discovered they could make more money sending junk goods to two dollar stores around the world. Now thank the lord this incredible catastrophe, this remarkable conspiracy has been discovered by our very own Piers Akerman, fat owl of the remove. Take it away fat owl:

The decision to let the Chinese Government build an antenna network for the CSIRO virtually adjacent to a top-secret joint US-Australian intelligence and operations base has left military chiefs dumbfounded.

So dumbfounded no one else in the mainstream media has managed to get as excited as Piers, but there you go, those fools  don't understand that the CSIRO - a government aggregation of scientists - is of course also a natural aggregation of naive, lick spittle lackey socialist pinkos in the grip of their Beijing overlords. Or worse still, without any grasp of the geopolitical complexities of a regional kind so firmly held in the fat owl's brain.

First some background. It seems that the US-Australian governments are building one of the most critical links in the Western defence shield at Geraldton, a port some 37o kms from Perth in Western Australia, and it will house ECHELON, 'big brother's bigger brother', featuring MUOS. These are so advanced technically and so secret that I can't say anything more, except to note that this mobile phone curtain is essential if we're to defeat the bamboo curtain much beloved by pandas and Chinese spies.

They're so advanced and hush hush, the fat owl had enormous trouble splashing the details all over his column, and I urge you to read it quickly because it involves top secret agreements, and I fear that the fat owl might well be snatched by the reds and put under their beds for spilling the beans. (Read all about it at Security curtain has been left wide open). One thing we already know for sure however is that since it's being built by western contractors it'll run like Telstra and leak like a sieve.

You see these selfish naive bozos at CSIRO have fallen for the two dollar store mentality and want to use Chinese contractors to build a next generation radio telescope:

Australia has proposed to build a $2 billion series of antennae from Geraldton to the East Coast and even across the Tasman and into New Zealand. No kidding.

To demonstrate its bona fides, it has let a $10 million contract to build a mini-series of 36 12m antennae.

The Chinese Government’s 54th Research Institute of China Electronics Technology Group Corporation (CETC54) scooped the prize with a bid which - assuredly jealous - potential competitors say is commercially unrealistic.

Did the CSIRO seek a clearance? Who knows. The only person from the CSIRO to comment yesterday said: “The Chinese are only building the antennae, not the receivers”.

Foolish, wretched CSIRO. They are either fools or dupes (or gasp, Mandarin speaking Manchurian candidates), and there's only Piers around to call them out for their clownish ways.

... the whole world knows that the Chinese Government has been hacking into every Western defence agency there is. Every Western government is terrified the Chinese may have planted “ghost” software, or “trapdoors” in the software through which they can enter Western defence systems at will.

The Rudd Government said “no” to the Chinese Government’s participation in a $2.6 billion takeover of OZ Minerals by forcing the excision of the Prominent Hill copper-gold mine from the deal on the grounds that Prominent Hill sits in the Woomera rocket range - a sprawling 127,000sq km block of outback South Australia.

“It is not unusual for governments to restrict access to sensitive areas on national security grounds,” he said.

Perhaps telemetry from the rocket range could have been read by a smart receiver operated by a foreign power located at Prominent Hill, perhaps not.

That's right, buried in these antennae will be a series of bugs and clever hardware and software devices which will read the minds of every Australian, and communicate the results to China. As a result, the Chinese will be able to predict the result of  Australian Idol before Australians themselves know it.

This is an astonishingly grave breach of Australian security interests. But what to do?

During the Cold War, the Pine Gap spy satellite listening facility was located near Alice Springs for one reason - it was a long way from the coast where Soviet spy trawlers, bristling with super-tall antennae, could not eavesdrop on its signals.

What has happened to Australian government thinking since then? Letting a Chinese Government company run an electronics shop next door to our most important defence intelligence and operations post is beyond dumb. It is recklessly stupid and must be stopped.

Oh no, and now they're building ECHELON featuring MUOS on the coast at WA. Citizens of the west, be alert but not alarmed. Be on the lookout for Soviet spy trawlers, bristling with super-tall antennae eavesdropping on the signals from Geraldton, right there on the coast. 

Clue: the trawlers will be painted black, and will be carrying black helicopters, and they will be in direct communication with the Chinese.

Please report directly to Piers on this matter. Only he has the good oil and can count the number of reds under the bed, or for that matter the number of reds you can fit on the head of a pin head. Already his readers have rallied to the cause:

The Chinese have gone too far this time. I say we (that is, America) nuke them quick smart before they develop the capacity to really defend themselves. Blow them back into the stone age before we are all eating fried rice.

It is one thing to have the US as a global superpower flexing its weight around every nation on the planet. But China, just because it has more people than anywhere else, feels it can too.

Well said Angry man of Sydney. I've already banished two dollar stores from my shopping list, as I suspect this is all linked to Krudd and global warming. The fact that fried rice is a deviant dish usually found in restaurants offering "Chinese and Australian food" should not fool us. 

Rudd Australia’s mandarin speaking PM is apparently not known as the Manchurian Candidate for nothing. Looks like it’s a slam dunk for China courtesy the Rudd Labor PC socialist government of new fresh ideas. Goodbye US hello China.

Great thinking George. You are at one with our fearless fat owl.

Ah well now that the resources boom is sinking into the sunset, I guess the fact that the whole Australian economy was dependent on China and the Chinese economic boom has to be called to account. Get lost you fried rice eating stereotypical reds under the beds, we'll go our own way thank you, in an ever descending spiral of paranoia and stupidity, and be proud of it.

(Below: sic transit gloria fried rice eater, and Manchurian candidate lover).