Monday, April 6, 2009

Caroline Overington, sleeveless dresses, pink and flabby hams, and vital news for the modern smart lady

(Above: Julia Gillard, deputy prime minister of Australia. Oh no, Julia, what were you thinking. We're all doomed, it's the end of the world, and no, the grand prix is absolutely no excuse. Now we know why you're so hopeless at policy, you have no fashion sense).

Whenever I want a discussion of substantive policy issues, I always turn to Caroline Overington first.

She provides vital, compelling thought bubbles on the state of the world, right here, right now.

So what's the vibe today? Tell it as it is, Caroline, in 'Armless, and unimportant

Well it seems it's vital for any woman over the age of 40 to understand that it's absolutely essential that they can never wear sleeveless dresses, unless they're toned and slender, unless of course they're so toned, like Madonna, that they look like a walking horse steroid pill, and then maybe they shouldn't.

It seems Therese Rein understands this vital truth for fatties, as does Michelle Obama.

Feel reassured about the state of the world now? Or suddenly irritated that you lost a few stray brain cells by stumbling across this web site? Never no mind, we're so happy to do whatever we can do to help rid the world of pink and flabby hams, as opposed to world poverty, world hunger, world disease and world war. And if it trivializes women in the process, so much the better I say.

Now here's Therese Rein pushing the window by showing a shocking amount of arm. Careful! No need to look like you live in Darwin in the wet season, or you're about to swing an axe:

And then there's Michelle Obama showing an extraordinary amount of arm, enough to cause Caroline Overington to faint. Lucky she seems to be buff, even cut:

By the way, has anybody ever explained to Caroline Overington that showing off a slim, light brain, with a low brain cell count, is absolutely contradicted when getting out and about in public? 

Sure employing journalists to write hideous trivia about nothing as a way of getting the mentally disabled into work is useful, as it raises self-esteem and independence in people who would otherwise feel forsaken. 

But to hell with that, it's really not important. What's really important is that female journalists forever know their place ... off in the powder room. Off you go Caroline, and thank heavens for smart journalists like you who know their place ...

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