Such bitterness, such bile, such bigotry, such savagery. They revel in being brobdignagians berating lefties and blacks and pinkos and perverts. Deep down you've got to think a lot of them have got poofter issues like the Rev Ted Arthur Haggard. Such full blown yahoos, it's hard not to feel a bit houyhnhnm about the barbarians.
I wonder if it will ever be possible to make the adjustments Gulliver managed in later life: ... the smell of a yahoo continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late in life to remove old habits, in some time, to suffer a neighbour yahoo in my company, without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.
My reconcilement to the yahoo kind in general might not be so difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is according to the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately breaks all the measures of my patience, neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and such a vice, could tally together.
Of course Gulliver never had to deal with Tim Blair and his followers on the intertubes.
And there you have it, since pride and right wing ratbaggery go together like a horse and carriage. Pride in the flag, pride in the country, pride in being white, pride in being always right, pride in religion, pride in being god fearing sons of bitches, pride in knowing everything there is to know about the myth of global warming, pride in being half-arsed hitmen if any fool expresses doubt or uncertainty about anything. (Well what the fuck would a dumb cock like that know about anything).
Of course these days they're a bit constrained. It's hard to crack poofter jokes, or slag off women like you could in the old days, even feminists and lesbians, or spics or wops or dagoes. Even Asians are fairly off limits, though you can sneak in a joke about the Chinese if you dress it up as political commentary about totalitarian systems. About all that's left are towel heads, Islamics, arabics, that kind of foreigner, the UN, the French, and Germaine Greer.
Good old Germaine, what a stout hearted punching bag. Oh yes, and Obama, though they never once mention he's got a really funny name and he's black, not that being black has got anything to do with anything (except maybe incompetence and a tendency to go walkabout and have sorry sit down time paid in full by indulgent deluded leftie taxpayers).
Funnily enough I think I know why Tim Blair hates global warming types so much. He's a petrol head, a genuine fan of that SBS car show and the loons on it. Yep, it seems the man must watch that publicly financed multicultural institution to get his revhead fix. How it must gnaw away at his vitals to switch his power hungry plasma to that vile minority channel.
If global warming's correct, that kind of gas headed mania will go the way of the dinosaurs (and yes, there's our own Michael Duffy, Duffster with a racing stripe, confessing to being a lead footed serial speedster collector of speeding fines. Does this mean all right wing types are rice boys with a V8 fetish, and small penises that can only be compensated for by nitrogen feeds and large dual exhausts? Oh wait, I've already put on record how I was pulled over by a nice Arizona cop doing over a hundred mph through his native land, so strike that theory).
No, the simple theory is likely to be the correct one. Tim Blair is a loon, and proud of it, and the people who flock to his pond are crazed beyond measure.
Which might explain just how Blair can rant and rave like an antipodean Rush Limbaugh, and make as much sense.
Don't believe me? Blair's latest addition to his blog is a couple of lines about weird punctuation-eating glitches under the title See you during the Palin Administration. And yet still they flock to show their prejudices.
A few samples:
Conspiracy theory number 1: it's a bug planted by the Obama administration aimed at all right leaning blogs. Don't believe me, go back four years in time and transpose Obama with Bush, that theory would get its own headline at Kos for sure.
Oh chortle, chortle, deep joke man.
Bryla really pounds my keys when he gibbers in hippie jargon. Huh?
It's the bloody EU trying to take over the world, Tim. Speak English, you filthy French.
It's Arabic. They've landed. Shriek in the aisles. Laughed so hard my gut split.
I'd just assumed it was Kevni trolls trying to sabotage our site (sic).
I'm reminded of the Statue of Liberty, and its call to be given the tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free (except for Hispanics and readers of The New York Times).
Perhaps Tim needs his own poem - give me your deluded, your mindless, your huddled antipodean wingnuts yearning to spout nonsense, the wretched refuse of unwashed, useless ideologies left on some barren shore, send these, the garbled tempest-tossed tosspots to me, as I throw my dysfunctional PC keyboard to the leaden floor.