Paul Sheehan's baaack, and with a wonderful display of open, even handed loonacy. It doesn't get any better than Islamophobia is a fabrication in that "one hour a year is enough to save the world" newspaper, and friendly home to loonatics, The Sydney Morning Herald.
First, let's see his dilemma. Sheehan tells us he's been approached by a post-graduate student writing a thesis on Islamophobia in Australia, and wondering whether it's based on religion fear or cultural fear of Islam.
Paul Sheehan naturally wonders if Islamophobia exists at all in this fair land. But it appears the outcome has already been decided. This would fit the prevailing orthodoxy in academia that the default position for Muslims in Australia is victim. The jargon, "Islamophobia" is part of this ideological construct. Literally, it means fear of Muslims.
Now let's consider how Sheehan is certainly not an Islamophobe. He spent his last holiday in Malaysia and the Maldives, his twelfth visit to Muslim societies because he doesn't fear Muslims and doesn't fear Islam. What a wonderful gesture. To walk amongst Islamics in their homes without fear. And the Maldives is such a festering hotbed of radicals too. Even more dangerous than Malaysia. (Well I'm not so sure he's holidayed in Auburn, but let it pass).
Now let's consider how tolerant Australia is, and we will do this by enumerating just how badly behaved Muslims are in Australia. Bear with us - it's quite a list:
1. The night of the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, a gang of about 100 young Muslim men - MBM, Muslim Brotherhood Movement - moved through the centre of the city intimidating, harassing and beating bystanders.
2. Warring Lebanese Muslim clans responsible for the hyper violence around Abdul Darwich's murder. God is great they shouted as they laughed at Australia and expressed contempt for Australian law.
3. The notorious 'women are meat' Mufti kicks down the door of the Lakema Mosque.
4. More rape sentences for one of the K brothers, evoking memories of the Yagoona rapist mob, of Muslim background and yes, Arabic speakers! More than 30 Islamic rapists in toto these last few years.
5. The bikies, of course, natch, with their infusion of young Muslim men into the bikie culture. Just like the other gangs flaunting their ethnicity. They even seem to be posting racist videos on YouTube threatening Australians and vandalizing the Aussie flag. The cowardly custards.
6. Oops, sorry, forgot to mention the Cronulla riots, the most notorious case of anti-Islamic feeling in Australia, which resulted in a self-styled intifada by armed Muslim men traveling in convoys and staging numerous co-ordinated assaults across the eastern beach suburbs of Sydney. Bra boys good, Islamic boys bad.
Well with that outrageous litany there's only one conclusion to be reached:
Given the abundant evidence of violent cause and fearful effect, involving a small percentage of antagonists, the general charge of Islamophobia is an ideological fabrication.
Huh? Say what? Well whisk me off to lah lah land and beat me with a feather. I have exactly no idea what time the cuckoo clock is telling me. Is it one minute to midnight? Or have the hands fallen off?
You mean those wretched Islamics can do all this shit, but we, being a broad minded, all forgiving, all encompassing, all embracing Christian nation reach out with our hearts and minds and forgive the general mob of mild-mannered Islamics for housing such an ill-tempered small percentage of antagonists inside their absurd religion? Yeah right.
Or do you mean that given all this abundant activity by loonatic Islamics, we have every right to fear and hate them, and since this is entirely rational and strategic, the general charge of Islamophobia is an ideological fabrication. Not guilty. Case dismissed. As for the specific charge, it is entirely justified by outrageous examples of Islamic criminality. Not proved, m'lud.
Sorry, still not getting it. Are you sure this isn't just an Islamophobic way of having your cake and eating it too?
Ah well, whatever, let's just get the cops on to these criminal gangs, armed with new laws, and beat the shit out of them, as Paul's been demanding these past ten years.
And a note to that Ph.D student. When you ask a loon a question, expect loonacy for an answer. It goes with the turf. And enough already with all that ideological fabrication. Go with Sheehan's hard fact approach to fabrication.
Me? Well I'm an honest to goodness Islamophobe, in the manner of all those loons who infest talk back radio. I don't like the Islamic mission to convert the world, and I particularly don't like the Islamic approach to gays. But wait, now I'm confused. Isn't gay bashing and converting the world to the war on terror the business of right wing columnists? Lordy, lordy, what does all this phobic stuff mean?
Sob, alright, I confess, I admit it. I also happen to be a Catholicophobe, an Anglicanophobe, a nunophobe, a ... (well you can add the -0phobe to the top five hundred wacky religions of the world and save us all the trouble of mangling the English language). That's why I told the nice grey haired Christian gentleman who came to the door and politely invited me to celebrate the coming of the Messiah to fuck off, that only Satanists lived here. (The fact that I was half way through lunch had nothing to do with the ill-temper, I do it all the time, and still they keep coming to the door).
I've also now deduced that I suffer from Sheehanophobia, which henceforth can be declared as an intolerance for Paul Sheehan, based on fear of illogicality, and cultural fear to do with incomprehension.
Gee this phobe disease is catching.
"Dear Paul Sheehan, I am currently researching the topic Lifeophobia, and I am trying to prove whether Lifeophobia is based on a fear that there is no afterlife or a cultural fear that living amongst right wing columnist loons makes life most peculiar and problematic."
"Dear Dorothy lifeophobia literally means fear of life. It is an ideological fabrication. The abundant evidence of violent cause and fearful effect from reading right wing columnists can be solved by not reading them. By the way, I understand the world will now end at 2.09 PM on Wednesday week. The likeliest cause? Islamic gang warfare, criminality, murder and rape. Now there's a phobia worth denying. Or do I mean embracing? Go figure."