For the past 28 years not one professional footballer from any major Australian football code has been convicted of sexual assault.
If it's true, what a huge relief. I'm advising all my women friends to date a professional footballer today since clearly as a group they put knights in shining armor into an elevated, bronco-busting, soaring sea eagle class all their own. (And they have access to all the best drugs and plenty of free booze).
Yep, if you want a trouble free, rape free date, go AFL or NRL, or at a pinch an A-Leaguer. Catharine Lumby you were right!
Party on dudes and dudettas.
You can read Halloran's outrageous feminist rant under the header When a woman cries rape, a football code turns itself into a fortress. Same old, same old. If she tries writing that sort of stuff this year, I'll dob her into Janet 'Dame Slap' Albrechtsen, and then she'll get a pounding.
Wait! She's done it again:
In the past 29 years, not one professional footballer from any major Australian football code has been convicted of sexual assault. Just yesterday! Well at least the header Long wait for justice is different.
Okay Dame Slap, come on down. Time to give the feminazis a what for. If none of the boys have gone down, or done time, clearly they're as innocent as a white snow storm of steroidal snowflakes. Sure, Halloran goes through a long litany of allegations and scurrilous rumors involving boofheads and thuggees. Read it if you're into salacious, saucy gossip about boys with their brains in their biceps.
But not a single conviction! QED - these boys are statistically safer than the general male population of deviants and perverts. Does the law work or what?
Now remember girls, if he punches you, it must mean love. If he glasses you, it means wedding bells time. He just thought you were a submissive into a little touchy feely SM ... And don't go hiding behind your skirt like you're Kevin Rudd. Dame Slap knows how to deal with those kinds of cheap tricks. What a wonderful world we live in ...
Take it away Louis:
I see fields of green ... red jerseys too
I see 'em scrummage ... for me and for you
And I think to myself ... what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue ... clouds of red toads
Bright blessed passes ... dark sacred offloads
And I think to myself ... what a wonderful world
The colors of the jerseys ... so pretty on the eye
Are also on the faces of the fans shouting die, bastard, die
I see the boys butting heads ... saying how do you do
They're really sayin ... I love you ...
What a wonderful ... Channel Nine first live broadcast on Friday night as the titans clash ... world ...