In his most recent tirade, Greenhouse gas or just a load of hot air, the fat owl gets out the whip to make sure that global warming denier Barnaby Joyce is respected, compromising opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull is given a fair hearing, and liberal sell outs like Christopher Pyne are given a good lashing as they get into bed with the Greens and that anti-Christ Satanist Bob Brown.
You see, the fat owl has the good word that the world isn't warming, it's actually facing a disastrous ice age which will continue for the next 100,000 years. His source for the finding: wait for it, drum roll, "the Russian newspaper Pravda". And what detail does the fat owl provide as to this amazing scientific discovery? Pravda says "there is a 'large and compelling body of evidence from within the field of climate science' which shows the Earth is 'now on the brink of entering another Ice Age'".
But at that point the fat owl, evidently tired from his exertion, feels no need to go into the why, the wherefore, the how or what of this amazing discovery. Too much science only clouds the brain, and you need what little space is left to conjugate the gerund in Latin. Still, he does manage a joke, to say that we'd all be smarter listening to the former Reds than the Greens.
Oh brave new world, that Akerman could turn to Pravda for his scientific certitudes, and ignore any number of credible competing sources of information. George Orwell couldn't wish for more.
Why is it that each time I read Akerman I feel a little more of my brain dribbling into the ether, or outer space? Could reading the Daily Terror lead to permanent brain damage? I guess only time will tell, but how brave we scientific pioneers are to experiment on ourselves in this way. Even Pasteur had his doubts about self-injection to prove his serums worked, but on we go, injecting the toxic Akerman and not worrying about ways to achieve immunity. Perhaps chocolate doughnuts offer a cure. Ah well, I don't expect the answer in Pravda, so maybe it can be found in Krispy Kreme.